I honestly don’t know how to explain the sequence of events that led me to signing up to have a mystical modality performed on me, but I did. Have you ever heard of DNA activation? Neither had I. It’s a fascinating energetic healing technique that can be done from anywhere. Mine was done by my good friend Josette Leblanc and every day I’m realizing things that are no longer part of the pieces that make up Janis Doherty.
Let me start for the beginning. July 27, 2020, I was contacted by Josette and told that she was preparing the healing grid for my activation. Awesome! What? I trusted that all I had to do was wait to hear back from her. She’s in South Korea and I’m in Calgary, Alberta. There’s quite a time difference and I didn’t know how long this took or when she’d be starting. It’s quite a ceremony and I don’t even want to attempt to explain it and take away the magic that happens. While I waited to hear what would happen next, I was outside eating dinner with my husband when I started vibrating with energy. I thought that maybe that bbq chicken dinner was full of some amazing protein so I didn’t think anything of it. By the time we were done dinner, I HAD TO go for a walk. He wasn’t feeling the need, and it’s probably best I went alone, so I did. Holy super powerwalking! I did my first kilometer in 10 minutes. That may not sound amazing but that’s the fastest I have walked since my breast cancer surgery in June 2019. I was on fire so I kept going. Here’s the fun part. I was in an exercise top, shorts and runners and had no pockets so I tucked my iphone into my cleavage and I felt like I was walking with my chest stuck out. I didn’t care who saw this and what they thought. I was listening to Meghan Trainor’s song Me Too. Give it a listen and imagine me strutting along. Energy and confidence was oozing out of me. What a charge!
After a 4 km walk, I came home and sat there in amazement. I can’t believe I just did that. I haven’t had that kind of energy in forever. Not only was it exhilarating, it was proof that I’m going to be ok.
Since that day, my life, spirit and soul has changed. I’ve removed self-judgement and a fear of money, I’ve gained a confidence that allows me to speak when normally I’d bury my emotions and thoughts. I’ve published a book and the baby steps of creating daily sales is exhilarating, not paralyzing. I’ve gained a level of self-love and self-respect that has been evading me since I started my journey within four years ago. I’ve changed and I’m loving what I’m experiencing.
My tagline for HERwithin is “Discover the Woman Within” and this Radical Guide DNA Activation did exactly that. I can’t wait to take the next step. The first two activations work on the first 24 strands of spiritual DNA and then the second set activated you to 48 strands. That’s where the fun starts. If you’re interested in learning more about this, contact Josette and tell her Janis sent you. I’m one of her biggest fans!
I just found a manuscript for a children’s book I wrote over 25 years ago. Isn’t it amazing what you find while moving? I remember typing it out on my typewriter, folding the pages and sending it to a publisher in my area. I had contacted a friend’s sister, who was an illustrator, to find out how to do it correctly. I had no idea what was going to happen next.
It took over six months to hear anything back and I received a “not interested” canned response. That was the end of my writing career, I thought. Within in me is a desire to empower people. To teach them how to live beyond what they’re doing. That desire was buried deep within me for the past 25 years. Raising a family, facing daily challenges, then divorce and learning how to be a brand new me was no easy task. No wonder I never wrote again.
Then four years ago, I took an abrupt left turn and headed in a direction that was so foreign to me that all I could do is trust where I was going. That’s easy to say now because my trust muscle is in fine form. Not so much 5, 10 or 20 years ago. I was in control and didn’t need to trust anyone to help me. That’s called being a control freak. I had it nicely disguised as being “efficient”. My soul knew better. It quietly sat back and let my ego and brain take over all operations. My soul voice, or my HERwithin, is so quiet, just like yours. It takes stillness to hear HER. I was in no position to get still and wait for the voice of HER to start telling me what to do. Your HERwithin can also be felt. Messages from your body like tingles, gut feelings, and tears are all messages from HER. I chose to ignore all of those as well. I didn’t have an owners manual to tell me what a tingle meant or what that gut feeling was telling me.
The day came that I had a conversation with my mum about regret about a month before she passed. That’s not a conversation I want to have with anyone during my final days. Her regret is that she didn’t travel more and she spent too much time on her gardening. I thought her garden was her passion? That’s where she would find her stillness and find her HERwithin. There must have been conversations going on that she was ignoring in order for her to have big regrets. I watched my mum over time develop multiple ailments culminating with ALS. I now know what all her ailments were about and what messages her body was sending her. That was a lesson I took very seriously when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2019. Talk about a wake up call! I was hearing my body’s messages loud and clear now and I understand when my soul is craving something.
Our soul speaks to us. Pining is a way it speaks to us. If you see a picture, hear a song or smell something and you get a feeling that you want that, that’s HER talking to you. She’s reminding you of the life that your soul craves. Fulfill that craving and allow yourself to do those things or even get close to doing them. Research them, write about them or even talk to others about them. Make it a reality to as close to your life that you can.
Here we are 25 years after my first rejection and I have the technological ability to self publish a book. I have the content, the ability to publish and an audience to promote it to. Up until not long ago, the only thing standing in my way was self-doubt. That evil little itty bitty shitty committee that holds regular meetings to stop my soul from leading me into something different. The chairman of the board is Ego and it’s job is to stop you from going too far in one direction and getting hurt. HER job is to quietly remind you that you have everything you need. So, I created a team of women that I was accountable to because I knew I could talk myself out of anything. I found seven women to help with edits and one to do with graphics and layout. I also reached out to many other women who experienced this journey and asked for advice and referrals for printers, retailers, etc. That was the greatest gift I gave myself. A Team! A Dream Team!
I am within days of uploading my final draft of my book and starting pre-sales. I have no idea what I’m doing each day, but I figure it out and my HERwithin is incredibly happy. The calm that I’m feeling every anxious step I take is HER telling me everything is OK. I’m living a life that my soul craves and that craving is being satisfied by stepping beyond what I know.
This post is brought to you by HER. I was minding my own business changing a light bulb when I suddenly had a message to do a blog. She knows best.
Find HER – 20 Revealing Questions to Discover the Woman Within will be available on Amazon in paperback and eBook formats.
When a woman reaches the beautiful intersection of midlife, she may feel like life is unraveling right before her eyes. Days seem to be on autopilot and sleepless nights are filled with questions that seemingly have no answers.
-Is this all there is for me?
-Why am I so emotional?
-Why don’t I trust people?
This book is a collection of twenty similar questions that Janis answers with vulnerability, honesty, and humour. You will learn how reconnecting to your own HERwithin paves a pathway to inner peace and personal fulfillment. You may laugh at some stories and emotionally relate to others as you reflect on your own experiences. The purpose of this book is to shine a light on questions that women are afraid to ask themselves, fearing what they might reveal. Yes, memories or buried emotions might be waiting behind a simple question, but to find your answers, you must ask the questions. Are you ready to Find HER and discover the woman within?
A few years ago I created a program called HERwithin Transition which had successful beta testing with five amazing women. I knew there was a need for women to understand how to properly transition through life events. I had just gone through another one of my own and knew I wasn’t doing myself any good by not processing it properly. A transition is more than having something end and having something begin, but many of us have never been taught how to process times like this. “Get over it”, “Stop stewing on it”, “It’s in the past” are all things we’ve heard and may have said to others as well. I’m here to tell you that “get over it” is only pushing down unprocessed emotions and stagnating your internal energy system. We need to process.
I was blessed to find a little book by William Bridges called Transitioning that changed my life. Within a transition, there are 3 stages – An Ending, The Bridge and The New Beginning. We are transitioning right now. What we know as normal, in many ways, just ended. This pandemic is taking away our normalcy little by little. Things will turn around, but we need to let go and embrace The Ending. This is the point of “DIS”. What was needs to go through a period of disengagement, disillusionment, disassociation and a handful more other steps. It’s the letting go stage. This transition can be going from being at home alone during the day to having 3 other people around constantly. It can be a single person suddenly having to work from home. It can also be a major transition like cancer or the sudden loss of a loved one. It’s all about facing ‘what was’, acknowledging it and saying goodbye.
The next step called The Bridge, is the one many of us jump right over. This is the place of stillness that’s required to find our bearings again. Remember that spinning playground ride? You jump on, spin around until you can’t see straight, then jump off waiting for your head to stop spinning? That’s the same as The Bridge. This is the time for your head to stop spinning, find stillness, grounding, peace and acceptance. Tribes use this transition stage to send their young men away to transition into men. They’re removed from the village and sent into seclusion in order to release the boyhood. In this period of a transition, it’s about connecting with the new you. The one that has shed the old layer of what was and is free from habits, judgments and fear.
The final stage is The New Beginning. This one isn’t as easy as just walking through a door. This is the stage that your inner critic, or Inner Lizard, as Martha Beck calls it, will keep jumping in to try and pull you back to life as they know it. Your inner lizard doesn’t like change and this is it’s time for a final rebuttal before you transition successfully. You’ll start questioning your commitment to this new way. You may try to bring old habits into this new way, but if you’ve done your Bridge homework and successfully let go of what was, you’ll find the transition easier.
Can you see what was, what is and what will be? Are you prepared to let go, find your peace and start a new way of being? It doesn’t happen overnight, but rest assured, it’s worth every ounce of energy you put into your personal transition.
Below is a sequence to check in with yourself during a transition. Ensure that you’re on the right track by asking yourself if you’ve honestly and successfully completed each stage. Remember that the biggest part of any transition is the down time between what was and what will be. You’ve got this!
Click the top right corner of this image to expand it.
Guilt can haunt the best of us. Deep down I don’t think there’s anyone out there who doesn’t carry some kind of guilt. I know I do, but I had no idea how much I was carrying until I started following some breadcrumbs and then fell down a giant Janis rabbit hole.
I am fascinated with metaphysics. Understanding the ailments of the my body through suppressed energy is enlightening and scary at times. I think back to the first time I peeled a layer back and found something I could process. Then behind that layer was another thing to process and so on and so on. I said to my husband today that there are times I wished I would have left that Pandora’s box of energy and emotions alone. Then on the other hand, the growth and change that I’ve been through over the past few years has been like nothing I’ve experienced before. Hence, the realization about guilt.
As many of you know, I’m recovering from a bout with breast cancer. Mine was found very early on, was small and didn’t require chemo. Surgery and radiation was enough for this old body to deal with. Within all the recovery time, I had a lot of time to face shadows and limiting beliefs that I’ve carried for many years. All of them are manifesting into ailments that I’m facing one by one and making them go away. It gets to the point that I’m tired of feeling ill and I want to take this new found energy and take it out into the world. I wonder at times if I’m still wading through the deep end and I’m not ready. I feel like I wrote a final exam on ME and I passed with flying colors. Well, I’m ready to take my latest and greatest discovery into the world through this blog. I hope it finds it into the hands of the people who need to hear it. I’m mentally attaching the intention and vibration of that thought to this blog post.
I just recovered from a flu type bug that came out of the blue… so I thought. Yes, it’s flu season, but trust me on this one, when you start to understand the process of releasing trapped energy from your body, with the help of authors like Louise Hay and Dr. Michael Lincoln, a runny nose isn’t a runny nose any longer. There’s a trapped limiting belief that is in my body, something is happening at this time in my life to have it surface again and when it does, it means I’m ready to process and release. Even though I spent 2 days in bed, was retching over the toilet at 3am and wanted to sleep all the time, deep down, I knew it was something else. Call it ironic, but I had just sent my manuscript for my book off to an editor the day before. I had to look into this. So I got my book out and looked up flu, retching, body aches and fatigue. That fatigue thing has been going on since radiation ended but I thought I’d revisit it. I found a common denominator in all of them. Guilt-grabbing!! WHAT?? I do my best to release, ground and forgive myself for all the wild things that have happened in my life over the past 10 years but I’d never looked at guilt before. It was time.
I grabbed a notebook and started writing all the things I felt guilt around. I also did a mind exercise of imagining I was writing the word of statement on a balloon and releasing it out a window. This went on for quite some time. I had 39 immediate things I felt guilt over and I said to myself, “I release the guilt of ….” and did that over and over. Yes, there were tears because the guilt is real and present right now. I had things from my childhood, parenting, divorce, my parents, step kids, jobs, what I didn’t do for someone and even the little bag of mini Junior Mints I was eating on our road trip to Waterton yesterday. I felt guilty not sharing them with my husband who had just finished his own chocolate bar. So I shared. Is that a mum thing or just it is just me?
By releasing all the guilt that had surfaced this morning, I made an associated discovery. A few years ago I had an intense release over the feeling that I’m not important. This was something that I found out had started when I was around five years old. The release of that gave me the confidence to approach people I didn’t know and not feel that I wasn’t worthy of their conversation. It now serves me well as I talk to entrepreneurs and local manufacturers about their products. The guilt-grabbing I was doing was because of that associated “I’m not important” limiting belief. It’s not completely cleared yet but when it does surface, I have a reaction time faster than the local fire department. Associating feeling guilty with not feeling important makes sense. If I don’t think I’m worthy of something, of course I’ll feel guilty about having it, doing it, feeling it or being it. It was like the lid was blown off my world when I understood this association and it didn’t require a psychologist/counselor to point it out. It’s so empowering when I step back and the breadcrumbs spell out something bigger than I expected to find.
That’s the power of HER. That’s what happens when I trust Trust HER, Hear HER and Feel HER. The answers are all within me. I needed to spend years to Find HER so that I could Trust HER and ultimately Love HER. I want to be a better person than I was yesterday and today, I can move forward knowing full well that I can release guilt and still be me. I will still be loved if I don’t share my Junior Mints. I’m not a selfish person but I don’t need to be a guilt ridden person because I’m worthy of whatever it is I have, do or feel.
I highly suggest doing the journaling and releasing process over anything you feel guilt over. If you need to continue with the process, I also suggest trying the Ho’oponopono Forgiveness Practice. Forgiveness and gratitude are immense healing tools to release what was and be thankful for what is. What will be in the future will form from the healing you do now.
Let’s go inside my head for a moment or two. Here’s what’s going on…
I’m standing in the way of my own success – REALITY
I’m confused about direction and clarity – REALITY
I can feel it within me but I’m not connecting to it – REALITY
I need to go back to work and just be for a while – THOUGHT
I’ve been struggling with the thought that maybe HERwithin and the process I experienced was just for me to experience and it’s not “the thing” I need to turn into a company. A shift is happening within me and the level of confusion is getting stronger and stronger. As the confusion gets stronger, my finances are getting thinner. I ask myself regularly if going back to work is going to solve anything? It’ll solve the finance issue for sure. I’ll get me back into my world of processes and organizing and it’ll get routine back.
Then there’s the dream of being able to work from home and create a world I want to create. Freedom! But that freedom I crave is not giving me something I need. Processes, flow, organization and people contact. (I’m re-reading this and saying to myself “you can get all that at home if you work at it”) Entrepreneurship isn’t easy. I’ve been working on it for the past 3 years and can honestly say that I’d be living in a relative’s basement if I relied on income from that to survive.
When I tap into my HERwithin and feel through this whole process of “do I stay or do I go (back to work)”, so many thoughts bubble up from my ego that are like little bugs flying around in my field of vision. My HERwithin does not shame me, doubt me, judge me or scold me. She communicates with me like a caring mother would talk to a crying child. I keep hearing “you know what to do” and every day, I’m releasing the flying bugs and feeling better and better about my decision to go back to work. Some days it’s like getting a coded message and other times I try so hard to just trust that it’s all unfolding like it should.
Here’s the fun part. I have so many people telling me that HERwithin is a beautiful thing, it can help so many women who are going through the same thing. I love sharing my stories and information and leaving it everywhere for anyone to take. What I can’t seem to do is turn that life story/lesson into a money making company. Something feels wrong. Is it because I don’t feel I’m worth it? Hell no! I’m worth every penny I’m paid because I create results. I haven’t had hundreds of women take my programs, I haven’t even had double digits, but every single woman that has taken it, has had results. I came to that realization the other day. Every single woman I’ve worked with has walked away with a new light shining within her. That feels so good to say.
Some people are born to sell, some people are born to lead and others are born to make sure things are coordinated to the highest level for those people. I’ve always considered myself to be a highly efficient Coordinator. Every position I’ve held, I’ve make a lasting impact. I haven’t done that with HERwithin. I’ve created, shelved, recreated, shelved again, switched lanes, come back to it and kept that cycle up for a few years. I’m standing in my own way of moving forward and creating success. But why?
I’ve taught workshops and loved it. I’ve spoken to rooms full of women and loved it. I’ve created an online course and 10 teaching videos and loved it. I love creating and presenting. As I’m typing this, I’m getting a knot in my stomach at the thought of the next step… selling. That’s where I’m standing in my own way. Oh man, I’ve tried selling. I remember selling kids books over 20 years ago and wasn’t very good. I wanted to give people stuff for free. I sold Regal products for years and I think I bought more than I sold. If I’m to succeed, I need to find my own selling style and not try to turn myself into a duplicate of someone I see online.
I’ve had a few coaches in the line of business development. I cling onto the processes that they offer. I love processes. I love watching things go from nothing to something. I’m like the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain. I put things into place and watch them grow and change. I had one coach tell me that you can’t create something and put it out in the alley hoping someone is going to find it. LOL! Yup, that’s what I’m doing. I’m giving the sales part of my world about 5%. I know it needs more effort but I can’t find that within myself. I create at 110%. I’m on fire when I’m in the creative mode.
Because HERwithin is attached to me personally, I know there’s a link between my self worth and the ability to sell. It’s not the cost of the course or workshop, it’s the straight up ability to … oh oh… I’m sitting here with no words, which means I’m onto something………… WHOA!!! It’s straight up the ability to ask people to trust me. (Insert tears HERE).
Trust has been a tumultuous word for me. My last HERwithin podcast was all about trust. I was in a 24 yr marriage that taught me a lot about trust. I didn’t trust my gut feelings (HER), I didn’t trust my husband at the time, I didn’t trust others and was controlling and I know it’s impacted my life. I’ve been working on trusting the universe a lot lately and surrendering myself to what will be. I’ve created an internal check point when I feel my trust muscle not holding up. The women I’m offering my … no, selling my courses to, are the women that I was. I didn’t trust others or myself. Why would I trust someone I don’t know who says she can help me transition through this part of my life and come out the other side with hope and fulfillment. Is it because I haven’t found that complete fulfillment yet? If I haven’t found it, how can I sell it? I’m not there yet.
Okay, where am I? I’m definitely somewhere else than I was 3 years ago.
I’m connected within. I Feel HER, Love HER and Trust HER
I don’t need stuff to fill a void within me
I trust more than I ever have (with room for improvement)
I understand my energy shifts and what they’re trying to tell me
I love to meditate because I love the sensations I have in my body
I love crystals and use them to protect and empower myself
I talk to the moon and celebrate her fullness and newness monthly
I listen without having the need to be heard and to be right
I am responsible for my experiences and forgive others that hurt me
I understand that everyone on my “life stage” is there to teach me
I can go for days without make up or jewelry and I love it
I believe in energy healers and the ability to clean and align chakras
My 5 year old self is still looking for love and I’m here for her
Vulnerability is a super power that I feel safe exposing to others
I love myself and what I’m learning every single day I’m alive
I am a beautiful soul, in a human body, living a journey
If this is you too,I’m here to help you Find HER and create the success and fulfillment you’re craving.
I want to share a struggle that I’m sure you, or someone you know, has gone through in their life. I don’t know if this is more common with women than men but it’s rearing it’s ugly head in my world again.
Finding a harmonious balance between making things happen and letting things happen can be a struggle. In this go-go world we live in now, there’s a need to “make it happen, Capt’n” because there’s no time to waste. This generation, as I learned first hand from a conversation at Starbucks today, wants things to happen NOW! Instant everything. Replies, coffee, food, jobs, success and even relationships. The person I was talking to was explaining how waiting for things to happen is for the lazy. I was looking at some cups on the shelves and wondering what all these other gadgets were for. They were explaining an instant coffee press that had just come out. No time for the regular coffee press. This things speeds up the time to make the coffee without using instant coffee because “that’s stuff’s gross”. I was starting to feel like a geriatric at this point. I thought to myself, “you don’t have time to wait for coffee to brew?”
On my drive home, I kept thinking about this. I’m reading Gary Zukov’s The Seat of the Soul and understanding the difference between a five-sensory personality and the multi-sensory personality. This “now” personality that I was chatting with was definitely a five-sensory personality in that conversation. I would be curious to see if they had a multi-sensory personality as well. The five-sensory personality gets their information through the five senses… feel, smell, see, hear and taste. The multi-sensory personality has that intuitive sense as well and can receive information in multiple ways. Does a person who wants things now have that ability to let things happen? Let the flow of life just happen? Or is everything truly about getting and having it now. Are they missing out on the slower pace of the universe?
When we receive as a multi-sensory personality, yes, I am one, that sense of smell isn’t just what you smell right now and can put a name to it. It’s the smell of a fragrance from a loved one who has passed on. That unexplained waft of fragrance or cologne that makes no sense. Do they hear messages that come from out of nowhere? The messages that come from our intuition or our higher self. What about feeling a tingle or a phantom touch and letting the moment continue with a memory?
The balance between letting things happen and making things happen needs to be harmonious. It’s a beautiful feeling that follows something unexplained. It requires a stillness that allows for the flow of energy to continue and include all the relevant information that was meant for you. It’s understanding that what is happening and what is meant to be happening can be against your consciousness. It’s finding a balance between conscious and unconscious. It’s allowing yourself to witness and experience what you can’t explain.
I’m facing this imbalance right now with what should be happening, what I feel happening and the crown jewel, what the universe has planned. Intention sets my day and I try to stay true to it but, when I feel like a salmon swimming upstream, I can’t help but wonder, “am I forcing this to happen?” When we set intentions, we know what it is that we would love to see happen. Our energy shifts to help ensure it’s success. What if that intention is a conscious intention that conflicts with an unconscious knowing? Then what? Where’s the harmonic balance now?
As I get ready to face another week of finding the path for HERwithin through intention, intuition and guidance, I know that my intuitive answers come in the form of dreams, yes or no feelings, memories, thoughts and sometimes the most random stuff you can imagine. Those are the things that are key to letting things happen. Once I receive the message, it’s time to make things happen. It’s a harmonious balance of existence.
I am open. I am receptive was the first mantra I learned three years ago. I remember crying as I said it. I was safe. I was doing something I needed to do and I didn’t know why I was crying. I do now. That was my first real communication with HER on my quest to find that piece that was missing in my life.
I said this mantra (from the incredible Elizabeth Dialto from Wild Soul Movement) today for the first time in a few years. I was about to start a meditation and wanted to really be open to receive. The meditation I did was from Insight Timer and it was Awakening Your Inner Guide by Sabrina Heartsong. As I laid there saying over and over “I am open. I am receptive”, I cried again. My heart was remembering the beautiful feeling I had in that yurt on my purple yoga mat. This time, the tears were from a deeper place. It was me and HER talking together. Deep within myself I know I’m connected with the woman I am and my HERwithin is dressed and ready to go everyday.
During this beautiful meditation, you ask yourself “who am I” and wait for a message, a word, a feeling, anything that would be a response from within. My response was an image of a glowing yellow and orange ball coming from my solar plexus. It was beautiful, warm and spinning in different directions. Then you ask yourself, “why am I here”. Well, that glowing ball gained intensity like it was on fire. The brilliance of this glowing light was beyond words but then I was served up “SHINE”.
The solar plexus is our “power centre”. A MindValley blog stated that …Your solar plexus chakra is activated:
anytime you muster the courage to do something that scares you
anytime you speak up for yourself
anytime you exert your willpower and self-control
Well, in the past 24 hours I’ve done all three of these. I announced my podcast, told someone, respectfully, what I thought of a decision they were making (asked permission to share with them first) I’ve changed my morning eating routine and sticking to it (against every ego intervention I’ve had). There’s a reason why my power centre was glowing like a hot coal in a fireplace. It’s on FIRE!!!!
When we’re open and receptive, incredible messages, opportunities and creativity come through to us. When our power centre is strong, we have the ability, from within, to do what we are meant to do. The Sanskrit word for solar plexus is Manipura. Guess what that translates to … Shining Gem! The power of the solar plexus keeps you true to your path when you’re connected to it. You’re probably asking, “Janis, how in the world do I connect to my solar plexus?” I can tell you what I did and you can also google the beejeebers out of it and find a million other ways. The Mindvalley blog I linked here is an awesome source of information.
First of all, we all have a chakra that we are deeply connected to. Some people have a go to in their Heart Chakra while others are deeply seated in their Root Chakra. Anytime I did an exercise to connect with a chakra, its my Solar Plexus that was home for me. So, if it’s your go to chakra, you’ll feel a deeper connection. I believe that the chakra that you feel through is your home. Do you get a gut feeling or feel like you’ve been punched in the gut if something isn’t right? That’s your connection to your solar plexus. We connect through all our chakras so you’ll feel what you need to feel.
I do a lot of connecting with crystals. I always have my “Crystal du jour” on my desk as shown above. Today I have a mix of yellow and orange for both solar plexus and sacral chakras (I think I’m creating a new relationship with my sacral chakra which is very exciting for me). Citrine and calcite are my favorites.
I’ve also done a lot of personal work on myself by peeling away layers, accepting my role in relationships and understanding that everything that is happening to me is actually happening for me. The people on our stage are there to help us learn something. Everyone!!! When I’m triggered by someone, there’s a lesson to be learned. I can’t help but ask people that question when they have a need to gossip about someone. After I finish venting to a girlfriend, I have a recess for myself to revisit what’s triggering me. That’s a huge part of being open and receptive. We receive every minute of every day. It’s what we do with it that counts.
I highly suggest doing the meditation I linked to. Awakening your inner guide is another way for you to Find HER, Trust HER and Be HER. In the famous words of Mariah Carey, ” there’s a HERo, if you look inside your heart!” Take a moment to listen to this video with your eyes closed. Your HERo is HER.
When was the last time you were full of JOY? Not happiness
but pure JOY? To me, happiness is caused by something else. Puppies, babies,
waking up in a good mood, things that are outside of us. JOY on the other hand,
is within. It’s a deeper state of being. When you’re JOYful, it’s beyond happy.
When you’re happy, it feeds your JOYfulness within. Happiness is like the bees
that bring pollen back to the hive and JOY is the hive. It’s home for
I noticed how my connection to JOY, since my labyrinth walk,
has changed so many other things in my life. Because of a state of JOYfulness
that has embodied me, I’m so easy to please. When I’m in a state of constant JOY,
I’m less apt to be controlling and want things my way. I’m happy to watch
anything on tv because sitting with my hubby feeds my JOY. Happiness and love
are amazing fuel for JOY. Grumpiness and resistance are not. I’ve also noticed
that my office emits JOY. I have lights twinkling in one corner, Sweet Orange
essential oil coming form my diffuser, a card with a sparkly JOY on it and a
happy funny piggy bank sitting by my computer (getting ready for the Year of
My favorite character in the Disney movie Inside Out is, you
guessed it, JOY! I use her emoji when I’m responding to happy posts on Facebook.
She’s the core of me. I know over the past many years, I’ve lost my connection
with JOY. Now, I know that now that I’ve connected to the woman I am, I’m JOY!
It feels right. It feels like that perfect pair of jeans that fit everywhere.
I haven’t always been like this. I used to have little
episodes of goofiness pop up periodically but then I’d slide back into my old
ways. I laugh now that it was like I would get “JOY drunk”. Now that I’ve done
the work to get myself aligned with my HERwithin, the harmony I feel now is
being translated into JOY! It’s always been there but we get so bogged down by
life that the layers build up and we don’t sense it any longer. That’s when you
get “JOY drunk” periodically. Think of it as a way of HER sending you a signal
that you can have that all the time. She lets you feel it for a bit but in
order to have it all the time, there’s some work to do, baggage to unpack, self-limiting
beliefs to destroy and some boundaries to establish.
We can’t experience JOY when the true essence of it, HER, is
lost in our orbit somewhere. She’s always there waiting for us to come home. JOY
is in our soul. It’s that spark within us that is always lit and now it just
needs a big ol’ shot of oxygen to really ignite it. That oxygen comes from us.
When we start breathing in life and releasing the stale air within, our light
becomes brighter and our JOY emanates from within. We are JOY! If I can find
it, anyone can. I’ve been through divorce after a 24 year marriage, loss of both
parents, being alone for the first time in my life, loss of jobs, loss of
direction, loss of myself and then a moment when I knew everything had to
change and I had to start moving towards something I couldn’t put my finger on.
That something, was the JOY buried within me.
Have you ever had that feeling that you had all the right puzzle pieces but nothing seemed to fit together properly? That’s been my 2018. I knew things were coming together with HERwithin and things were changing and shifting for me personally but something wasn’t right. Being relatively new to the world of reiki, energy and alignments, it was hard to find a connection with the right person. That changed today on my 55th birthday.
I was at a women’s conference in September and I came into that conference with a new found internal alignment of myself. Let me explain… I had been working on releasing some deep self-limiting beliefs that I wasn’t aware I was carrying around. I knew I was rather judgy about myself and why things didn’t work out but I didn’t realize I was limiting myself. I was literally standing in my own way. Releasing these things over the past year has been amazing. One of the things I released, and seriously needed to, was that I wasn’t important. In my earlier years when my boys were in grade school, I was volunteer mom extraordinaire. Holy moly did I do it all and took it to the next level. I pulled together some amazing hockey and lacrosse tournaments, managed hockey and soccer teams like a boss, created events in school that blew the lid off previous events and on and on. I loved being that mover and shaker but when it came time to thank me for all my hard work, what did I do? I took a deep breath, received what was being given, applause, flowers, gifts or hugs and then removed myself from the room. I can honestly say that I don’t remember those beautiful times of gratitude. Isn’t that sad? In my mind, I wasn’t important enough to be receiving this. It was all just part of the process. Back to the women’s conference… well, I went there alone and had a purpose. I was going to walk up to people I wanted to meet, introduce myself and join in their conversations. I was important and I made a difference. One of those people that I purposefully greeted was the amazing Dixie Bennett. Her company Stillpoint Bodyworks was something I needed to find out about. So I introduced myself and we talked. I kept getting drawn to her and realized why. She has a service called a Birthday Alignment and I needed to do this. I think this was that thing I needed to get all my puzzle pieces aligned. So, today on my 55th birthday, I did it.
I would love to explain everything that happened but when something happens so deeply within it’s a feeling that defies words. I feel refreshed and tuned up. My chakras, nervous system and soul feel different. HER and I went through it together. I’m feeling aligned, honestly aligned, for the first time in so many years. I’m aligned with my path for HERwithin. I’m aligned with my path for becoming a professional speaker and I’m aligned with myself. It’s a beautiful feeling that I wish I could share with my hubby. I know I have his support in everything I do but, I know I lose him when I go too far down that spiritual rabbit hole. His head is nodding but I think it’s more reactionary than voluntary. I’m sure lots of women have those men in their lives. As much as I would wish this experience on him, it’s probably as realistic as me reassembling his ’72 GMC pick up that’s in pieces in the garage. He has his thing and I have mine and we both appreciate what the other likes.
To start my next year of life with this amazing feeling of alignment is like lining up the tulip bulbs in the garden and watching them pop up in a perfect row as they create a beautiful array of color. 2019 is my garden and my tulips are ready and waiting. I feel it and I know great things are going to happen with HERwithin, me, my family and even you!!
I cry when I peel and cut onions. I’ve tried everything from running water to wearing my glasses to actually wearing swimming goggles. I guess I have either super power organic onions or I’m just sensitive to “onion power”. Either way, I still do it. I look at it as a nice cleanse for my eyes (once the burning stops LOL). Frying up onions for meals is so good. That added flavour is amazing and the smell of fried onions… YUM!! Am I the only one? I know they stink up the house but isn’t that what hood fans are for? Hey, my new microwave has a built in fan to clear out that smell. Then, there’s the wonderful smell of the candle burning afterwards to clear our the untouched odor. Right?? I love a lemon candle or the beeswax candle a girlfriend gave me last year. Have I gone on long enough about the lovable onion?
The reason for this post is because I found this piece of onion skin in my office. It’s upstairs away from the kitchen and yes, it could have been caught on something and dropped off when I sat down. Well, if that’s what happened, you wouldn’t be reading about it would you? I remember looking down and thinking, “that’s a piece of onion skin. What is it doing in here?” Then in a flash, I had a moment of receiving an award in junior high school. That rush of WOW that comes over me when I’m handed an award is as fresh as it was 40 years ago. That piece of onion skin, in my eyes, was an award for all the work I’ve been doing on and for myself. I’m peeling away soooooooo much stuff and becoming stronger by the day to face the ugly shadows that lurk behind me. Peel, cry, peel, cry, peel, cry.
I created HERwithin because I realized that there was a part of me that I was completely disconnected from. My HER. That part of me that feels like a 5 year old some days. The part of me that looks in the mirror and smiles at the woman smiling back. The part of me that doesn’t judge me. The part of me that knows I’m important. The part of me that remembers and smiles. Your HERwithin is your soul. It’s who you are. My tagline is now “Reconnect with the woman you are” because within us is that woman. Parts of that woman are a 5 year old child but we don’t remember HER. She’s your intuition. She’s that piece of you that knows that you need to turn here instead of going straight. She’s the one that reminds you to call your sister. She’s the one that reminds you that you’re beautiful, spiritful and YOU!
But do you know what happens? As we go through life, we develop layers and those layers create distance between you and HER. She’s always been where she needs to be within you. We wander far from home and we can’t hear HER any longer. That’s when our world becomes lonely, unfulfilled and we feel lost. We look for anything that will guide us “home”. Books, online courses, advice from family and friends. Well, nothing and nobody holds that answers you’re looking for, but YOU! Where are those answers? You guessed it… under all those layers.
So, when I found this lil piece of onion (that’s the actual piece in the picture), I felt like the universe was saying “YOU DID IT. You’ve peeled away so much over the past three years and you deserve an award!” My reward is actually the love I have for myself. That honestly takes a lot for me to say. I can say that I am overflowing with JOY for myself. It’s such a deep feeling that nothing can take it away. If I have a bad day and I’m crying, I know it’s not going to last forever. It’s energy that needs out of my body. Those tears just flow right over top of my JOY like a waterfall. JOY is always there and I am so happy I know that and feel it now. There were so many days in the past ten years that I didn’t feel anything but anger, resentment, confusion, sadness, alone, used, unimportant… I’ll stop there. I can feel an energy shift happening with all those words. NOW, there are days that JOY takes over and I just let HER do that. I’m playful and mature at the same time. I’m whimsical and graceful at the same time. It’s a harmony of ‘this and that’. It’s not a balance. Balance means that it needs to be equal or it’s off balance. Harmony is the essence of nature. Everything lives in harmony in a forest. The water, the bugs, the trees, the plants, the birds, the animals, the mud, the sunshine. It flows together harmoniously. That’s what happens when you peel away the layers between you and HER.
You’re probably wondering when you’ll know it’s time to peel. It’s like labour. You just know. You know there’s no harmony within you. You know you haven’t felt JOY in years. You just know. I did and when I started peeling away my onion, some ugly stuff was facing me and it took time to peel and cry, peel and cry. That’s what you need to do or you grow more and more layers and you’ll never peel enough away to find HER.
I’m holding onto my lil piece of onion skin. I may even frame it. It’s my reminder that I DID IT! I found HER and my harmonious self is living a life of JOY!