Is that an onion in my office?

I cry when I peel and cut onions. I’ve tried everything from running water to wearing my glasses to actually wearing swimming goggles. I guess I have either super power organic onions or I’m just sensitive to “onion power”. Either way, I still do it. I look at it as a nice cleanse for my eyes (once the burning stops LOL). Frying up onions for meals is so good. That added flavour is amazing and the smell of fried onions… YUM!! Am I the only one? I know they stink up the house but isn’t that what hood fans are for? Hey, my new microwave has a built in fan to clear out that smell. Then, there’s the wonderful smell of the candle burning afterwards to clear our the untouched odor. Right?? I love a lemon candle or the beeswax candle a girlfriend gave me last year. Have I gone on long enough about the lovable onion?

The reason for this post is because I found this piece of onion skin in my office. It’s upstairs away from the kitchen and yes, it could have been caught on something and dropped off when I sat down. Well, if that’s what happened, you wouldn’t be reading about it would you? I remember looking down and thinking, “that’s a piece of onion skin. What is it doing in here?” Then in a flash, I had a moment of receiving an award in junior high school. That rush of WOW that comes over me when I’m handed an award is as fresh as it was 40 years ago. That piece of onion skin, in my eyes, was an award for all the work I’ve been doing on and for myself. I’m peeling away soooooooo much stuff and becoming stronger by the day to face the ugly shadows that lurk behind me. Peel, cry, peel, cry, peel, cry.

I created HERwithin because I realized that there was a part of me that I was completely disconnected from. My HER. That part of me that feels like a 5 year old some days. The part of me that looks in the mirror and smiles at the woman smiling back. The part of me that doesn’t judge me. The part of me that knows I’m important. The part of me that remembers and smiles. Your HERwithin is your soul. It’s who you are. My tagline is now “Reconnect with the woman you are” because within us is that woman. Parts of that woman are a 5 year old child but we don’t remember HER. She’s your intuition. She’s that piece of you that knows that you need to turn here instead of going straight. She’s the one that reminds you to call your sister. She’s the one that reminds you that you’re beautiful, spiritful and YOU!

But do you know what happens? As we go through life, we develop layers and those layers create distance between you and HER. She’s always been where she needs to be within you. We wander far from home and we can’t hear HER any longer. That’s when our world becomes lonely, unfulfilled and we feel lost. We look for anything that will guide us “home”. Books, online courses, advice from family and friends. Well, nothing and nobody holds that answers you’re looking for, but YOU! Where are those answers? You guessed it… under all those layers.

So, when I found this lil piece of onion (that’s the actual piece in the picture), I felt like the universe was saying “YOU DID IT. You’ve peeled away so much over the past three years and you deserve an award!” My reward is actually the love I have for myself. That honestly takes a lot for me to say. I can say that I am overflowing with JOY for myself. It’s such a deep feeling that nothing can take it away. If I have a bad day and I’m crying, I know it’s not going to last forever. It’s energy that needs out of my body. Those tears just flow right over top of my JOY like a waterfall. JOY is always there and I am so happy I know that and feel it now. There were so many days in the past ten years that I didn’t feel anything but anger, resentment, confusion, sadness, alone, used, unimportant… I’ll stop there. I can feel an energy shift happening with all those words. NOW, there are days that JOY takes over and I just let HER do that. I’m playful and mature at the same time. I’m whimsical and graceful at the same time. It’s a harmony of ‘this and that’. It’s not a balance. Balance means that it needs to be equal or it’s off balance. Harmony is the essence of nature. Everything lives in harmony in a forest. The water, the bugs, the trees, the plants, the birds, the animals, the mud, the sunshine. It flows together harmoniously. That’s what happens when you peel away the layers between you and HER.

You’re probably wondering when you’ll know it’s time to peel. It’s like labour. You just know. You know there’s no harmony within you. You know you haven’t felt JOY in years. You just know. I did and when I started peeling away my onion, some ugly stuff was facing me and it took time to peel and cry, peel and cry. That’s what you need to do or you grow more and more layers and you’ll never peel enough away to find HER.

I’m holding onto my lil piece of onion skin. I may even frame it. It’s my reminder that I DID IT! I found HER and my harmonious self is living a life of JOY!

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