The journey of the Find HER book

I’m getting the opportunity to talk to a lot of podcasters and interviews about my book. This is a dream come true. There’s so much I want to say in that short period of time. I love a good conversation and if the door is left open, I can talk forever! As my hubby usually says when we’re trying to leave somewhere, “you’re still talking!”

If I were to pick the point in time to pinpoint the start of the journey of my book, it would be April 21, 2016. That was the day after my mum’s birthday and the day before she passed. That was the day that my journey to Find HER began. At the time I didn’t know I was about to start the most amazing self discovery, self awareness, and self-love journey of my life, but I knew I had to.

Three years of peeling layers, facing my shadows, and reconnecting within lead me to a day in April 2019 where I sat by a river and 20 questions came pouring down on me. It felt like a final exam and these questions weren’t easy. I had a journal with me so I started writing them down.
1) Am I taking responsibility for my experiences?
2) Am I giving more than I’m receiving?
3) Am I expecting others to change for me?
4) Do I taste my words before I speak them?
5) How do I participate in conversations?
6) What are my expectations of others?
7) Why am I triggered?
… and 13 more.

Then, one month after starting my book, I got the news that I had breast cancer. In that moment when the doctor put her hand on my knee and said those three heart shattering words, “you have cancer”, all of my senses shut down. That’s why they tell you to bring someone with you. I couldn’t hear her, my heart was pounding and I felt completely numb. Nobody in my family had ever had breast cancer. Why me? That’s when I got an intuitive tingling to check in with all my bodies. I now lovingly call them my MEEPS;
Mental nothing happening up there and the lights are out.
Emotionalevery emotion was running around as if I had just been set on fire.
Energeticself preservation kicked in. All energy was at a stand still
PhysicalFeeling faint, nauseated, numb
Spiritual“You’re going to be ok” is exactly what I heard. That brought me back into the conversation

My connection with HER is so strong that when I need support or guidance, I just ask for it. I know it seems funny to be talking to an unknown entity but, your HERwithin is you. You’re communicating with your higher self. It’s still you, but an all knowing you. Let’s take those 20 questions for example. When I asked myself those twenty questions, I had two answers. First I had the answers that came from my head. Those were the judgmental ones. Then I had answers that came from my heart, from HER. Those were the ones that created the book. They were the guidance that lead me through the dark forest of death, disease and divorce.

This book helped me keep my head above water while facing breast cancer. I took manuscripts with me to radiation. I sat at my desk whenever I could pulling together the last pages so I could send it to my peer editors. That magical group of six women shared their editing knowledge, their opinions on topics I was well versed in and kept me grounded and real during that entire process. They were my Dream Team.

This book is here because I’m shining a light on the questions that many women avoid asking themselves, like I did, fearing what they might reveal. I know how unsettling it is to ask yourself ‘why am I triggered?’ because I know for my own journey, I would rather blame anyone else rather than take responsibility for my experience. What I love about this book is that it’s stirring up emotions in women around the world. I had one woman tell me that she was not impressed with me because of how I made her feel. She didn’t want to deal with the emotions and shadows that bubbled up from one question. That’s what I want. I don’t want women wandering our planet holding in stale dark energy from something they think they need to do, say or bury. It’s time to take the lid off and let that energy out.

With Find HER, each chapter concludes with “Next Steps” which are actionable steps that the reader can take, implement or at the very least, create an awareness around that particular question. I’ve also included some journal pages to help process whatever comes up.

My favorite quote about the book is … “this is a book that every women doesn’t know she needs yet“. Right?

Find HER will be available in May 2021 on my HERwithin website and is currently available on Amazon
If you would like to purchase a signed copy, please email me, I’ll add you to the wait list and send you the link to the store once I have stock.
You can reach me at HERE Local signed copies in Calgary and area will be $20. Signed mailed copies will $25

Thanks for coming along on this journey. I’m excited to announce that I’m in the process of writing the next book in my trilogy. Trust HER is due out Nov 2021.

Janis

Live a life your soul craves

I just found a manuscript for a children’s book I wrote over 25 years ago. Isn’t it amazing what you find while moving? I remember typing it out on my typewriter, folding the pages and sending it to a publisher in my area. I had contacted a friend’s sister, who was an illustrator, to find out how to do it correctly. I had no idea what was going to happen next.

It took over six months to hear anything back and I received a “not interested” canned response. That was the end of my writing career, I thought. Within in me is a desire to empower people. To teach them how to live beyond what they’re doing. That desire was buried deep within me for the past 25 years. Raising a family, facing daily challenges, then divorce and learning how to be a brand new me was no easy task. No wonder I never wrote again.

Then four years ago, I took an abrupt left turn and headed in a direction that was so foreign to me that all I could do is trust where I was going. That’s easy to say now because my trust muscle is in fine form. Not so much 5, 10 or 20 years ago. I was in control and didn’t need to trust anyone to help me. That’s called being a control freak. I had it nicely disguised as being “efficient”. My soul knew better. It quietly sat back and let my ego and brain take over all operations. My soul voice, or my HERwithin, is so quiet, just like yours. It takes stillness to hear HER. I was in no position to get still and wait for the voice of HER to start telling me what to do. Your HERwithin can also be felt. Messages from your body like tingles, gut feelings, and tears are all messages from HER. I chose to ignore all of those as well. I didn’t have an owners manual to tell me what a tingle meant or what that gut feeling was telling me.

The day came that I had a conversation with my mum about regret about a month before she passed. That’s not a conversation I want to have with anyone during my final days. Her regret is that she didn’t travel more and she spent too much time on her gardening. I thought her garden was her passion? That’s where she would find her stillness and find her HERwithin. There must have been conversations going on that she was ignoring in order for her to have big regrets. I watched my mum over time develop multiple ailments culminating with ALS. I now know what all her ailments were about and what messages her body was sending her. That was a lesson I took very seriously when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2019. Talk about a wake up call! I was hearing my body’s messages loud and clear now and I understand when my soul is craving something.

Our soul speaks to us. Pining is a way it speaks to us. If you see a picture, hear a song or smell something and you get a feeling that you want that, that’s HER talking to you. She’s reminding you of the life that your soul craves. Fulfill that craving and allow yourself to do those things or even get close to doing them. Research them, write about them or even talk to others about them. Make it a reality to as close to your life that you can.

Here we are 25 years after my first rejection and I have the technological ability to self publish a book. I have the content, the ability to publish and an audience to promote it to. Up until not long ago, the only thing standing in my way was self-doubt. That evil little itty bitty shitty committee that holds regular meetings to stop my soul from leading me into something different. The chairman of the board is Ego and it’s job is to stop you from going too far in one direction and getting hurt. HER job is to quietly remind you that you have everything you need. So, I created a team of women that I was accountable to because I knew I could talk myself out of anything. I found seven women to help with edits and one to do with graphics and layout. I also reached out to many other women who experienced this journey and asked for advice and referrals for printers, retailers, etc. That was the greatest gift I gave myself. A Team! A Dream Team!

I am within days of uploading my final draft of my book and starting pre-sales. I have no idea what I’m doing each day, but I figure it out and my HERwithin is incredibly happy. The calm that I’m feeling every anxious step I take is HER telling me everything is OK. I’m living a life that my soul craves and that craving is being satisfied by stepping beyond what I know.

This post is brought to you by HER. I was minding my own business changing a light bulb when I suddenly had a message to do a blog. She knows best.

Find HER – 20 Revealing Questions to Discover the Woman Within
will be available on Amazon in paperback and eBook formats.

When a woman reaches the beautiful intersection of midlife, she may feel like life is unraveling right before her eyes. Days seem to be on autopilot and sleepless nights are filled with questions that seemingly have no answers.

-Is this all there is for me?

-Why am I so emotional?

-Why don’t I trust people?

This book is a collection of twenty similar questions that Janis answers with vulnerability, honesty, and humour. You will learn how reconnecting to your own HERwithin paves a pathway to inner peace and personal fulfillment. You may laugh at some stories and emotionally relate to others as you reflect on your own experiences. The purpose of this book is to shine a light on questions that women are afraid to ask themselves, fearing what they might reveal. Yes, memories or buried emotions might be waiting behind a simple question, but to find your answers, you must ask the questions. Are you ready to Find HER and discover the woman within?